What? You Want Me To Be Nice To You?

Kick meBut of course! Please stand in front of me. Now, bend forwards at the waist until your body forms a right angle with the trunk of your body horizontal and your derriere facing me. Ready? Prepare for the first kick. Say “Thank you!” Prepare for second kick. Say “Thank you!” Repeat process until inertia and rigor mortis go away. What’s that? I’m too high-handed? No, I didn’t use my hands, only my foot. And only on that thick, fleshy, force-absorbent part of you commonly known as the backside. So what do you mean, I’m too high-handed? I’ve just done you a huge favour! Quick, call me nice! In fact, I might need you to do the same for me one day, and I’ll call you nice, too!

What is with all this talk about us being too nice to each other? That being “too nice” is dysfunctional? That is like dangling fun in front of people as though fun were the elixir of life, the only reason for living, the fount of eternal youth. And all the while it wasn’t fun you were desperately looking for, but fulfillment. Fulfillment in the knowledge and certainty that you have done all you could have trying to help someone become more valuable, turning him away from his self-destructive course leading to termination and turning him around to become a colleague everyone wants on their team. No, you can never be “too nice”, stop spouting that destructive filth! Neither can you “kill him with kindness.” Stop it. Do not continue being a fool. Words have the power to shape our minds and actions, so use your words right! If you allow a person to indulge in anti-social, unprofitable, aggressive and selfish behaviour, you are not being “nice” at all, you are giving him licence to destroy both himself and his team, and probably your entire business as well! No, you never “kill him with kindness”, you kill other people by your lack of decisive action, and you are killing him with your inept leadership at the same time.

So, do be kind to me, please. Stop using the phrase “too kind”, and deal with issues and point people the right way upward and onward. You’ll be kind to yourself if you do that, too!

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