That includes the female version of hunk, too, whatever they’re called. Are you good at having your say? Or do you fear saying what you really want to say for whatever reason? Do you speak well in public, or do you suffer from that fear of public speaking known as “glossophobia“?

Would you like to have your say? Well, here are three points that will help you. Work on them over the weekend, or the next few days, whenever it is that you read this!

1.  What’s Your Message?

Do you know what your message is? Is your message focused on others or focused on yourself? Are you trying to tell people “Look at me, I’ve got good stuff for you”, “Come to me, I have this product that will make your life better”, “Be my friend, I’ll never let you down” and similar messages that exalt your own qualities? Do you feel good about promoting yourself? Why?

Or is your message directed at praising the good you see in other people? Asking questions that get people to talk about themselves? Never parading your preciousness until asked? (And you WILL get asked if you ask people questions that help them describe themselves and/ or their situation.) Does your message direct people to things higher and better than yourself?

2.  Are you living your message?

One of the things that high-performance teams do when they get together to train is indulge in “wind sprints”, or basic drills and exercises. This means that they practice and practice until they can’t get it wrong. Top business teams call such practices “lead measures”. They are foundational building blocks of any viable and good strategy.

Do you live your message everyday? If I called you up to the front, gave you a picture or an article and asked you to talk about it for 180 seconds, would you be able to say anything? I don’t care whether you think you are an introvert or extrovert, what would you have to say? If I observed your life, what would I conclude?

3.  Do you care about what people need?

Would you like to be popular or would you like to be appreciated and loved? Well, do you know what people need, and what are you doing about it? As humans, our physical needs are actually very minimal, but our desire for greatness, for significance, for belonging, for contribution, is perhaps bottomless. Would your message give people fulfillment where those real needs are concerned, or would you be offering people bright, shiny trinkets that you know will never satisfy their hunger? So that they keep coming back to you for more? Do you then seek to justify yourself?

Ask. Be aware about what it is that people really need. As you discover more, ask yourself if your message would be able to feed those appetites well. If the answer is no, how are you transforming your message?

Do these three things over the next few days. Then let me know how it turned out for you! I’d like it if it turns out you’re a real hunk!